Transcript 1-9-13

Clayton Griffin: test

Kato Katonian: Test

GM: No test

Bella Blitz: ALL THE THINGS IN KATO’S UTERUS!!!

Kato Katonian: Usbuterus

Rebecca Massey: It would suck because all the things would also be on fire

Bella Blitz: heh. wood.

Bella Blitz: not wood on fire.

Bella Blitz: wooden fire bad.

Bella Blitz: The Mistress? Is Tormach’s grandmother a madame? IS THIS A BROTHEL?

Rebecca Massey: I hope so

Matt Hogan: didnt you read my story!

Bella Blitz: me too!

Bella Blitz: I’ll take one of everything.

Bella Blitz: I’m small, but mighty.

Matt Hogan: and two of that half elf

Bella Blitz: because she’s pretty pretty.

Bella Blitz: and tall.

Bella Blitz: i’m the perfect height.

Bella Blitz: ;)

Rebecca Massey: haha

Bella Blitz: suitably experienced in the art of …. oooohhhh myyyyy

Rebecca Massey: :D

Bella Blitz: drinking wine.

Bella Blitz: smacking dat ass.

Bella Blitz: what.

Rebecca Massey: What? What? In the butt!

Matt Hogan: indabutt!

Bella Blitz: mmmm butts.

Bella Blitz: MORE WINE!

Bella Blitz: Something is afoot!

Bella Blitz: *note… almost everything is a foot taller than me.

Rebecca Massey: Left of right?

Bella Blitz: shit joke.

Bella Blitz: win.

Bella Blitz: Left.

Matt Hogan: poop jokes?

Bella Blitz: RECOVER ALL THE WINE!

GM: Merijin van Calcar

GM: Gellis

Bella Blitz: Don’t look now, but you have a pussy behind your head.

Bella Blitz: or look.

Bella Blitz: i would.

Rebecca Massey: giggles

Matt Hogan: its all hairy though

Bella Blitz: that’s true. maybe it’s from the 70’s.

Kato Katonian: Gonna be muted for a few—eating my dinner!

Matt Hogan: mmm nostalgia

Matt Hogan: but I wanna hear you chew, dammit

Kato Katonian: Gellis has blue barrels

Bella Blitz: blue barrels and hairy pussy. i’ll be in my bunk.

Bella Blitz: NO.

Kato Katonian: I’m in

Rebecca Massey: What makes the beer pink?

Matt Hogan: hairy pussy

Bella Blitz: YES!… actually, the name of the beer was originally Püssibraü

Bella Blitz: but, I was convinced to change it.

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20

20 = 
20

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d20

20 = 
20

Matt Hogan: snatch what?

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20

9 = 
9

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20

12 = 
12

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

19 = 
19

Kato Katonian: Mine’s a 25 total with my bonus.

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

16 = 
16

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

3 = 
3

GM rolled : 1d20+5

17 = 
12

+5

Rebecca Massey: 20+3 (Con-woman) = 23

Kato Katonian: Roll to eat gyro: /roll + 5

Kato Katonian rolled : +5

6 = 
+1
+5

Bella Blitz: 20

Matt Hogan: gyno?

Bella Blitz: don’t eat the gyno. you’ll need her later to take care of the previously mentioned hairy pussy.

Kato Katonian: a dirty whore?

Kato Katonian: oh “dirty, horrible, I misheard that”

Rebecca Massey: Clayton wants to test the back door

Matt Hogan: hes tired of the hairy pussy

Matt Hogan: ooooh myyyy

Kato Katonian rolled : +2 +3

6 = 
+1
+2
+3

Matt Hogan: another pussy!

Bella Blitz: ANNA LYNN… your pussy is showing.

Matt Hogan: roll /gyro

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d20

20 = 
20

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d20 +5

23 = 
18

+5

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +3

22 = 
19

+3

Bella Blitz: he checked the backdoor, and then slipped in.

Bella Blitz: smooth.

Matt Hogan: giggity

Bella Blitz: because when you enter through the back door.. you wave, it’s only polite.

Matt Hogan: do you need a permission slip?

Kato Katonian: Cheers: The RPG

Rebecca Massey: haha!

Rebecca Massey: But we are ALWAYS glad you came

Bella Blitz: MY BEER KNOWS ALL YOUR NAMES!

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20 + 3

12 = 
9

+3

GM: So your beer is sentient? It explains so much

Bella Blitz: came… in the backdoor.

Bella Blitz: It is MY beer.

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

1 = 
1

Rebecca Massey: It is fun to roll drunk rolls.

Bella Blitz: i need to shit a spell?

Bella Blitz: my character can’t do that.

Rebecca Massey: haha

Rebecca Massey: Mine can

Rebecca Massey: Ooo swoon

Rebecca Massey: I’m just gunna pretend that you are wearing a kilt too

Bella Blitz: I’m short enough, i can tell you EVERYTHING!

Rebecca Massey: SHARE!

Bella Blitz: Always!

Bella Blitz: No blue barrels there.

Bella Blitz: ;)

Rebecca Massey: :)

Kato Katonian: coughing one sec

Bella Blitz: i love that you’re actually coughing while i’m looking up your kilt. i didn’t even ask you to turn your head.

Rebecca Massey: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Kato Katonian: This is important: Did anything move?

Bella Blitz: oh. my hands are there. everything moved.

Bella Blitz: EVERYTHING.

Kato Katonian: phew

Matt Hogan: instant QBS

Bella Blitz: STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO SHIT SPELLS… Especially in public.

Bella Blitz: That’s just unsanitary.

Matt Hogan: is anyone else aroused by the accent?

Rebecca Massey: raises both hands

Bella Blitz: totally.

Bella Blitz: TOTALLY!

Bella Blitz: he’s going to tap his hammer.

Rebecca Massey: giggles

Bella Blitz: i wanted to tap his hammer.

Rebecca Massey: You had your chance, your hands were there

Bella Blitz: i was too drunk.

Bella Blitz: the coughing scared me.

Matt Hogan: and it was cold

Matt Hogan: things shrink when its cold

Bella Blitz: true. that makes it hard.

Bella Blitz: haha.

Bella Blitz: HARD

Matt Hogan: buzzinga!

Matt Hogan: bazinga?

Matt Hogan: ha

Kato Katonian: I have no idea what’s going on in the chat here but I assume it’s awesome.

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +4

22 = 
18

+4

Bella Blitz: we’re talking about you balls… and hammer.

Bella Blitz: *your

Kato Katonian: oh yea, they’re awesome.

Matt Hogan: barrels, BARRELS!

Kato Katonian: Firewasps is a great name for a gang.

Bella Blitz: fire wasps… not sexually repressed like regular wasps.

Bella Blitz: you went gang. i went religion.

Bella Blitz: BANG.

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+2

3 = 
1

+2

Rebecca Massey: Hope his hammer didn’t get scratched

Bella Blitz: VAGINA DENTATA… Clayton, you need video so we can make pussy jokes when these things happen.

Matt Hogan: fat, hairy pussy jokes

Bella Blitz: with spikes. OUCH.

Matt Hogan: talon, even

Rebecca Massey: and teeth? What?

Bella Blitz: this should be a creature we have to battle. i’m scared of it. i need more pink peer.

Bella Blitz: *beer.

Rebecca Massey: Mmm Crystal Light and Vodka

Rebecca Massey: That sounds like the BEST bar

Bella Blitz: YES… Bring the drunken gnome back to the brothel!

Bella Blitz: BOOB HUGSS!

Rebecca Massey: The BEST boob hugs

Bella Blitz: FRENZIED BOOB HUGS.

Rebecca Massey: Frenzy Hug ALL the BOOBS

Bella Blitz: one at a time. in triplicate. it’s my job.

Rebecca Massey: Jolly good times

Rebecca Massey: I want my cheese melted

Bella Blitz: I want my bread buttered.

Rebecca Massey: I’ll butter your biscuit

Matt Hogan: giggity!

Bella Blitz: yeah you will.

Bella Blitz: rawr.

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 + 6

11 = 
5

+6

Rebecca Massey: spooky music

Matt Hogan: porno music

Rebecca Massey: spooky porn music

Matt Hogan: bom chica bow wow

Rebecca Massey: BOOM chicka BOOM KaPOW

Matt Hogan: he self destructs

Rebecca Massey: haha

Matt Hogan: his name is Mal, and he engulfs in flame

Bella Blitz: dammit. i should have jumped the messenger… the porn music was the cue and i missed it. damn.

Bella Blitz: i missed my opportunity for 15 minutes of dirty fame.

Matt Hogan: and shame

Matt Hogan: with a hint of guilt

Bella Blitz: BAH. i have no shame. or guilt.

Rebecca Massey: You don’t even know what those words mean

Bella Blitz: nope. i really don’t.

Matt Hogan: what are words?

Bella Blitz: how do i word?

Rebecca Massey: throws dictionary

Matt Hogan: word to yo motha?

Bella Blitz: we should bring that back.

Rebecca Massey: So if it is 18+ does that mean I get to not wear close anymore?

Rebecca Massey: clothes*

Bella Blitz: sayin’

Kato Katonian: I liked “wear close” that’s classy

Bella Blitz: pretty sure if my shirt gets any lower i won’t be wearing clothes any more.

Matt Hogan: just chainmail chaps

Rebecca Massey: All you can see is my shoulders up, I don’t think clothes should be required

Bella Blitz: chainmail chaps… that would be cold!

Bella Blitz: clothing optional.

Bella Blitz: it’s a house rule.

Rebecca Massey: Or HOT depending

Bella Blitz: true.

Matt Hogan: a bit nipply indeed

Rebecca Massey: nope. 77 here. fucking balls hot

Bella Blitz: see. fucking florida.

Rebecca Massey: Right?!

Matt Hogan: sweaty balls hot

Rebecca Massey: I am totally going to move… eventually.

Rebecca Massey: screw hot balls

Bella Blitz: salty balls.

Matt Hogan: salty blue barrels

Rebecca Massey: too much vodka in that last refill…

Bella Blitz: yes. salty blue barrels. i wonder what’s brewed in there?

Bella Blitz: never too much vodka.

Rebecca Massey: more vodka then I intended in that last refill

Matt Hogan: wait, this isnt a sex game?

Rebecca Massey: PHRASING!!

Bella Blitz: ooooh. INTENT

Bella Blitz: it totally is.

Matt Hogan: I guess I should put pants on

Bella Blitz: no way. it’s the RPG pants off!

Rebecca Massey: No pants! I should take mine off

Bella Blitz: i thought we all came to this without any on.

Matt Hogan: no pants wednesday!

Bella Blitz: no pants EVER!

Rebecca Massey: Woot!

Matt Hogan: its also waffle cone wednesday at TCBY. mmm

Matt Hogan: but they wont let me in without pants

Bella Blitz: stupid TCBY … you should put a waffle cone on your hammer and call them pants.

Rebecca Massey: HAHAHAHA!!!

Matt Hogan: its cold if you stick the hammer into the frozen yogurt

Rebecca Massey: ooo What flavor?

Matt Hogan: salty blue barrel

Rebecca Massey: yummy

Bella Blitz: well, that’s the flavor now, since you stuck your hammer into it. good job. lol.

Matt Hogan: but it has hammer in it

Bella Blitz: you went salty blue barrel deep.

Rebecca Massey: no comment

GM rolled : 1d20+3

16 = 
13

+3

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +3

10 = 
7

+3

Kato Katonian rolled : d20 +0

6 = 
6

+0

GM rolled : 1d20+3

17 = 
14

+3

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

6 = 
6

Kato Katonian: Sorry, my init is 7

Bella Blitz: 9

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20 + 5

11 = 
6

+5

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +3

19 = 
16

+3

GM rolled : 1d20+4

20 = 
16

+4

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+5

14 = 
9

+5

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+5

6 = 
1

+5

GM rolled : 1d20+3

16 = 
13

+3

GM rolled : 1d20+3

12 = 
9

+3

GM rolled : 1d20+8

22 = 
14

+8

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d4

3 = 
3

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20

13 = 
13

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +4

16 = 
12

+4

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +4

5 = 
1

+4

Rebecca Massey rolled : 5d6 +4

29 = 
5

3

6

6

5

+4

Matt Hogan: mmm hi c

Matt Hogan: ecto cooler!

Rebecca Massey: I can hit a high c

Kato Katonian: ooh ecto cooler

Rebecca Massey: It is fun

Matt Hogan: I can hit a high C when my hammer is stuck in frozen yogurt

GM rolled : 1d20+6

17 = 
11

+6

GM rolled : 1d20+6

14 = 
8

+6

GM rolled : 1d20+6

23 = 
17

+6

Bella Blitz: so. a couple of years ago an artist friend of mine put on a Ghostbusters show at a local cinema/bar… they had an ecto cooler alcoholic beverage. i may have fallen off a stool that night. sayin’.

GM rolled : 1d20+6

9 = 
3

+6

Bella Blitz: silly hammer, frozen yogurt is for mouths.

GM rolled : 1d20+6

19 = 
13

+6

GM rolled : 1d20+5

18 = 
13

+5

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+5

6 = 
1

+5

Rebecca Massey: mouths, hammers, frozen yogurt. yes.

Bella Blitz: it’s gettin’ awesome up in here.

Rebecca Massey: Raise the roof, yo

GM rolled : 1d20+6

8 = 
2

+6

GM rolled : 1d20+6

8 = 
2

+6

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20 + 5

17 = 
12

+5

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d8 + 1

8 = 
7

+1

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

14 = 
14

Bella Blitz: 18

Rebecca Massey: No excuses!

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d6

4 = 
4

Bella Blitz: 8

Matt Hogan: brb, wifes home

Matt Hogan: still listening

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

4 = 
4

Kato Katonian rolled : d20

19 = 
19

Kato Katonian rolled : d20

7 = 
7

Kato Katonian rolled : d20+3

20 = 
17

+3

Matt Hogan: giggity

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d6+2

6 = 
4

+2

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +3

19 = 
16

+3

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d4+2

3 = 
1

+2

GM rolled : 1d20+6

7 = 
1

+6

GM rolled : 1d20+5

8 = 
3

+5

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+2+5

17 = 
10

+2
+5

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d6+4

6 = 
2

+4

Bella Blitz: BRB… need more drink.

GM rolled : 1d20+6

19 = 
13

+6

Rebecca Massey: “I’m still standing…”

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20 +2 +5

26 = 
19

+2
+5

Matt Hogan: guys love that accent, Kato

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d8 + 4

7 = 
3

+4

Rebecca Massey: Fuck the guys, I love the accent

Matt Hogan: I bet you say that to all the boys

Rebecca Massey: most of them, yes

Bella Blitz: are we talking about fucking guys now? i’m in.

GM: I can do a better Scots accent. ;) I’m out of practice though

Rebecca Massey: Start practicing.

Rebecca Massey: Getting more to drink

Matt Hogan: Ive heard that accent, its quite the audible treat

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

12 = 
12

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d6

6 = 
6

Matt Hogan: are there two left?

Rebecca Massey: yes

Bella Blitz: i can do a badass new york accent. does that count as sexy?

GM: Yes.

Rebecca Massey: hehe, hammer

Matt Hogan: sultry

GM: Not to the New Yuck accent, to the two left question. :P

Rebecca Massey: But also the new york accent

Bella Blitz: my new york accent is SUPREME… it could be sexy.

Bella Blitz: haha. Thank you!

Kato Katonian: =/roll 1d20+5+2

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d20+5+2

11 = 
4

+5
+2

Matt Hogan: my southern accent makes me sound like a dumbass

Rebecca Massey: no, that is adorable

Bella Blitz: awww. no. southern accents are relaxing.

Bella Blitz: now, if you’re dumb – that may make you sound dumb.

Matt Hogan: yeah, gotta love the drawl

Bella Blitz: see.

Rebecca Massey: NAKEY HEAD!!

Bella Blitz: i’m smart.

Matt Hogan: how lewd!

GM: The women love my naked head.

Rebecca Massey: lol

Rebecca Massey: All the women

Bella Blitz: it’s true. naked head is good.

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d10

9 = 
9

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +2

8 = 
6

+2

Matt Hogan: uht oh

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20 +2

7 = 
5

+2

GM rolled : 1d20+5

10 = 
5

+5

Rebecca Massey: Bood fight for the win!

Rebecca Massey: boob*

Bella Blitz: boob fights win everything.

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d20+3+5

21 = 
13

+3
+5

Bella Blitz: boob mace.

Bella Blitz: best.

Bella Blitz: weapon.

Bella Blitz: ever.

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d6+4

5 = 
1

+4

Rebecca Massey: I run up and smack the guy in the face with my tits

Rebecca Massey: he takes critical damage]

Kato Katonian: titical damage

Rebecca Massey: :)

GM rolled : 1d20+6

26 = 
20

+6

Matt Hogan: dammit, 2 hp left

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d20 +3 +5

27 = 
19

+3
+5

Kato Katonian: I’ll heal you on my turn matt

Clayton Griffin rolled : 1d8 + 4

5 = 
1

+4

Kato Katonian: What a cutie

Rebecca Massey: Bella gets extra heal bonus because of kitty snuggles

Bella Blitz: he’s a bastard. i love him. haha!

Bella Blitz: YES!

Matt Hogan: thanks for noticing, Kato ;)

Kato Katonian: No problem buddy

Rebecca Massey: :D

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d20

12 = 
12

Bella Blitz rolled : 1d6

6 = 
6

Matt Hogan: nah, we are playing in Utah

Rebecca Massey: haha

Rebecca Massey: This bra needs to come off.

Bella Blitz: oh, well in that case. engage everyone!

Bella Blitz: dude.

Bella Blitz: right?

Rebecca Massey: always

Bella Blitz: i’m not wearing one next time.

Rebecca Massey: deal. free ballin’ twins

Bella Blitz: yes ma’am!

Matt Hogan: people still wear bras?

Rebecca Massey: frenzied hug

Matt Hogan: Ive been bra free since at least 8th grade

Bella Blitz: frenzied freed boobies hug

Rebecca Massey: I have now had enough to drink to need my glasses to read

Kato Katonian rolled : 1d20+5

11 = 
6

+5

Bella Blitz: you’re doing it wrong. you need to drink more so you can’t read.

Rebecca Massey: just a little more

Bella Blitz: get on it.

Matt Hogan rolled : 1d8+2

5 = 
3

+2

Rebecca Massey: we don’t like clothes around here

Bella Blitz: clothes are overrated.

Rebecca Massey: Yesterday we had all the doors open, i said “I am taking off my clothes now!” She said “Nope!”

Bella Blitz: did you do it anyway? i would have. haha.

Bella Blitz: OFF WITH HER CLOTHES

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d20+3

16 = 
13

+3

Rebecca Massey rolled : 1d6+2

5 = 
3

+2

Matt Hogan: woot

Matt Hogan: indabutt

Transcript 1-9-13

Forgotten Sagas of the 13th Age MissBellaBlitz